I don't have to blog.

I don't have to blog.

I don't have to blog.

I don't have to blog.

I don't have to blog.

I don't have to blog.

I don't have to blog.

Seeing It All Over Again

Years ago, I recall seeing an episode of the original Star Trek in which the Enterprise encounters a planet with a peculiar Roman civilization. An old Starfleet captain had taken over, and there was a slave uprising against him. I am no trekkie, but for those who are (as if I need to tell you!), the episode is entitled "Bread and Circuses." The slaves are part of a group who worship the sun. This is an important element to the story.

At any rate, I can't recall exactly how the plot unfolded completely. We can be sure that the away team got rid of the bad guys and the one guy in the red shirt was killed in the process. At then end though, there remained a question about the slaves' worship of the sun. They seemed more advanced that such natural religion might indicate. However, Lieutenant Uhura asks the question that what if they aren't worshiping the "sun" in the sky but the "Son of God," and that they might be anticipating the arrival of Jesus Christ. Kirk muses at the end about what it would be like to see "it" happen all over again.

Intriguing.

The idea of how Jesus is the savior not just of all humanity but of all creation is ancient. St. Paul probably didn't think about little green men when he preached about recapitulation of all creation in Christ, but the idea still holds. Gene Roddenberry's idea that Jesus "planet hops" in order to accomplish salvation for everyone is not part of our Christian faith. But, it does draw us to recall Hebrews:

For Christ did not enter into a sanctuary made by hands, a copy of the true one, but heaven itself, that he might now appear before God on our behalf. Not that he might offer himself repeatedly, as the high priest enters each year into the sanctuary with blood that is not his own; if that were so, he would have had to suffer repeatedly from the foundation of the world. But now once for all he has appeared at the end of the ages to take away sin by his sacrifice. Just as it is appointed that human beings die once, and after this the judgment,so also Christ, offered once to take away the sins of many, will appear a second time, not to take away sin but to bring salvation to those who eagerly await him (9:24-28).

Jesus is the Savior of all - whether we know it or not; whether we like it or not. He doesn't have to accomplish this over and over. But... He does still! Through the sacraments of the Church, the work of Christ continues in the world forever.

This weekend, I had the great joy of baptizing my three-month old niece, Lauren Ryleigh. The joy of being the minister of this sacrament is that we get to be there, present, at a decisive moment - the decisive moment - in the life of a Christian. This is the moment of conformity to Christ in His death and resurrection. I will always remember her looking at me and giving a little smile as I poured the water over her head. I was there when it began for her.

It happens all over again.

What If He Is a King?

Dear Jove,
I hope He is a king.
Then I can hand Him off -
maybe even send Him to Rome.
Out of my hair,
our of my mind.

What do I care?
He's not my king,

is He?

He's someone else's.

Someone away from here.

But not me.

And, apparently,

not these people's either.

He speaks of "truth."

And those who listen to it.

They are of His "kingdom."

But what is "truth" anyway?

He's not my king.

And that's my truth.

Where are these people -

these ones who "listen to the truth?"

Who are they?

Are they here?

Why are they not defending Him -

His "truth"?

If He is a king,

then let Him be.

Send Him to Caesar

and they can sort this out.

Caesar has truth too.

Let Him go to Rome;

let them decide

which way is right.

This is not my way.

How silently He stands there.

Behold the Man!

Crowned with thorns,

beaten,

broken.

Some king!

Not my king,

not my truth,

not my way.

But I don't want to decide these things.

This is too much for me -

kings,

and truth,

and this Man.

By Jove,

I hope He is a king.

Then I wouldn't have anything

to worry about.

I could send Him away

and keep living my truth.

Get Off the Couch and into the Action

Lord, I hope this is a joke. (It's a funny one!).




H/t to Deacon Greg.

Discovering Glee

Among many of the college kids with whom I work, the TV show Glee is a popular one. I can't fault them for it. I watched an episode the other day and thought that it was good. What I saw, though, was a group of young people who have come together in their high school glee club, each of whom have some pieces of their own lives that just don't fit right. Whether they are the nerds, gay, delinquents or physically challenged, they have populated this shared experience with the best of who they truly are. The results are beautiful. I recently purchased the first soundtrack from the show, and knowing the fictional experience of these kids, the music is all the more meaningful.

Church is like that - particularly in the experience of the young. They come together in "this place" where they know the language and the moves. It doesn't matter who they are on the other side of the stained glass; here they are all God's. And when they begin to share their faith in this common ground the results are beautiful. Watching young people come alive with and express their faith is a constant source of glee for me.

Discernment's Results

Not everyone who enters seminary leaves a priest. It might be a surprise to some people to know that young men in the seminary are not necessarily destined for ordination - and it might also be a surprise to some to hear that this is not necessarily a bad thing. Seminary is still a time of discernment, where a man is considering seriously the commitment to priesthood that he will be making. However, the fact that a guy leaves seminary is not a cause for disappointment or sadness. In most cases, it is that person truly discerning his vocation. There was a joke among us in seminary that when a guy had left and we didn't really know where he was or what he was doing we'd just say broadly, "Oh, he's married and working at Sears." This, of course wasn't true, and it was recognized as a joke. But the fact that guys left was not a joke - nor was it necessarily a bad thing for them or for the Church. The Body needs many parts.

I have had the privilege of attending seminary with some of the finest people I have ever met. Many of them are brother priests with me now; some of them are not, but they are nevertheless wonderful men. It is always interesting for me to reconnect (usually via Facebook, I admit) with them and to learn of their families and ministries or jobs.

The other day, I realized that one of the guys I went over to Rome with who eventually left seminary is thriving in his native Louisiana with a speaking and counseling career with young people. Roy Petitfils works with youth and adults (not at Sears!) to understand ministry on campuses and in the world. I am sorry I didn't know this sooner, but it is a joy to see a brother flourishing in his vocation. Roy is now married with a family - something seminary might not prepare one for, but something that discernment certainly does.

I was struck by one recent post of his about "kids these days." His insights confirm my own experience. People who might complain about our youth usually have no real experience of them apart from the negatives. The young people that we minister to, however, might put us to shame with their own piety and relationship with God. Some of Roy's observations:

Kids today don’t love God like they used to. The kids I meet and work with today love God a lot more than I did when I was their age.

Kids today don’t show respect. How much respect do we show them?

Kids today don’t know how good they have it. This year 10 million kids will be exposed to domestic violence. It is estimated that nearly 1 million kids will be victims of child abuse this year.

Kids today are all having sex. The vast majority of teenagers I’ve worked with had their first adult conversation about sex with me.

Kids today aren’t coming to Church. How does the Church go to them?

Kids today are entitled. I’m entitled. You should see me turn into a four year old at the drive through when they forget to put the cheese on my double whopper add bacon and cheese (diet Coke), supersized value meal.

Kids today use drugs and alcohol. Again the vast majority of young people I’ve worked with have had their first real conversation about the dangers and long term effects of drugs and alcohol with me.

Kids today just don’t talk to their parents. American adults watch an average of three hours of television a day, while the average dad spends less than five minutes a day talking with their children.

Kids today don’t know the meaning of sacrifice. I’ve seen enough flag covered coffins carried off of military planes in the past six years to know better.

Kids today just don’t care. Next January, travel to Washington, D.C. for the National Right to Life March and then tell me kids today don’t care.

Kids today are lazy. There are hundreds of rebuilt, hurricane damaged houses along the Gulf coast that show otherwise. I know many Mexican people who now worship in real Chapels and live in homes built by those same kids. When was the last time someone you know gave up a week of their vacation to work for free in an impoverished area?

Check out Roy's site here!

Christmas Shopping?

Have you started Christmas shopping yet? I have. I like to get an early start so that I can celebrate the season well without the hustle and bustle that drive us crazy each year. During this Year of the Priest, maybe you are thinking about getting your local priest something for the holidays. So, what do you give the priest who has everything? Let me make a suggestion: The Priest magazine.

The Priest is a monthly magazine that targets priests with articles about health, ministry, homily ideas and theology. It's a sort of "trade magazine" for the guys in a parish. It's not conservative, nor is it liberal. It is Catholic, with articles that address how to file your taxes, how it be a good concelebrant, or what would make for a good priest's library. I am surprised by how practical this mag has been. So, if you're looking, I'm sure your priest will appreciate The Priest.

Unity Becoming

It's been twenty years since the Berlin Wall fell. For those who have grown up in a post-Wall world, it is difficult to convey the magnitude of that even in November, 1989. I recall the sense of change and hope that accompanied those images of young people scaling the gray, spray paint-decorated wall. The wall had stood for forty years as a symbol of the separation that the Cold War had brought to Europe and the world. The young people who climbed that wall no longer cared about the ideologies of those who built it. They only saw the absurdity the whole thing and they stopped believing that they needed to be defined by what separated them.

Cardinal Walter Kasper, the head of the Pontifical Council for Promoting Christian Unity, once spoke about how he foresaw Christian unity coming about. He said that he thought it would be more like the fall of the Berlin Wall - that is, it would not necessarily be a top-down process, but a realization on both sides that more unites us than divides us, and that dialogue can lead us to a fuller understanding of who we are, and who one another are.

This seems to be the way of the Kingdom. Rather than ideas or structure being placed upon us, it is always "becoming." The Kingdom is breaking in all over. We are blessed to be a part of that, and through the grace of God, which He bestows on us all, we can be agents of unity, no matter who we are - or on what side of the wall we find ourselves.

Gratitude

Martin was a soldier in his youth. One day as he was riding, he came across a man whose clothes were so tattered that he was practically naked. The young Martin took his long cloak and cut it in half with his sword and gave it to the man so he cold keep warm and covered. The next night, Jesus appeared to him in a dream, clothed in the cloak that Martin had given. "Whatsoever you do for one of these, the least of my brothers and sisters, you do unto me."

Martin was not looking for thanks or notoriety from the poor man. But he got it from Jesus. Today's gospel also speaks of gratitude as the proper response to God's grace. On a day when we honor our veterans for their sacrifices (Martin is also a patron of soldiers), we are reminded that giving thanks is at the heart of who we are as Christians. Our Eucharist should teach us that too.

Also, we should not seek out gratitude - we are destined to be disappointed. I am guilty of this too. When I let someone merge in front of me, I might say, "You're welcome!" and receive no appreciative wave. But I should not do that either. Even our Lord got only a 10% return on his healing gift! Rather, we should act out of love and gratitude for our blessings.

A woman once told me that "gratitude is the refinement of the soul." It is an attitude that recognizes blessings when we see them. Today is a gift; let's be grateful.

Amazing Grace - Love-Fifteen

Sunday evening, I watched 60 Minutes' piece on Andre Agassi. For those who don't know yet, Agassi has just released an autobiography in which he reveals some surprising details - mainly about how self-loathing he had become, how depressed and how he used crystal meth. The tennis star spoke about how he played mostly for his father, to fulfill his dad's dreams. It wasn't his choice, and his life quickly took on the feel of a fraud. As the drug use drove him deeper and deeper down, his coach hit him with an ultimatum: "quit or start over." This was truly a gift to Andre. He took the opportunity to take charge of his life - it was his choice now.

As I watched, I thought about the reality of grace and how God's wonderful love calls each one of us out of those same sort of depths of sin. This is truly "amazing grace" - that draws us from the course toward death and destruction toward life. Katie Couric's piece was wonderful - but the grace it illustrates is better by far.


Watch CBS News Videos Online

The Nerve!

How dare he!

Elijah, in the First Reading, comes to another place, finds a poor widow who is obviously suffering in that time of drought and scarcity – she is busy with her own tough labor – and the prophet has the gall to ask for some water from her! More than that: after she does this kind and generous act, he dares to ask for something to eat too!

The nerve!

How dare he?

In our Gospel, Jesus watches, then praises, a poor widow who gives “all she had, her whole livelihood.”

How could she?

From her very small possession, she gives abundantly – everything she had – and Jesus recognizes in her the generosity of the Kingdom – the generosity of God.

These two stories speak to our celebration today. In the Eucharist, we bring together everything that we are and become even more. We meld sacrifice and celebration, to see the blessings that God shares with those who are willing to give of who they are.

Elijah is not being pushy when he asks for a drink of water. Such hospitality was common – and still is – in the Middle East. Now, he was being pushy when he asked for some food too! But, he was pushy with a point. The generosity that the widow would offer, he says, will be rewarded by God in that she would never go without.

All she had to do was trust that her sacrifice would be received.

Similarly, the woman in the temple offered from her want, trusting that the God who had provided that little bit for her would continue to sustain her.

She had faith.

Today, our own “Elijah” – Elias – comes and makes a request of Jesus and of us. He wants Jesus to give him everything that He is – all of it.

How dare he?

Today, Jesus calls on us to forsake all else and give ourselves to Him.

How can we?

This is the mystery of the Eucharist. Here, in this Sacrament, God becomes truly present and offers Himself to us. We, in turn, gather all that we are, and together with this sacrifice of Jesus we offer that back to God. It is more than just sacrifice; it is celebration.

The stories that we hear today are not meant to draw our attention to the actual gifts given. The first widow only did what was customary; the second only gave what amounted to a few cents. Neither of them were looking for recognition, but both were noticed, and their attitudes are what are noteworthy. They are attitudes of trust that allow for such generous self-gift.

Often, we can get so caught up in our difficulties, our inadequacies, our problems, that to imagine God asking anything of us might even be insulting. “How can God expect anything from me now?” However, it is not the size of our gift that matters to Him; it is the love and faith with which it is given.

There once was a woman named Oseola McCarty, who lived in Mississippi. Ms. McCarty had to drop out of school at the age of 11, in 1919, to take care of her mother’s laundry business. She never returned to school, but she spent her life washing, drying and ironing other people’s clothes. She seemed like a “poor, black wash woman” to people who knew her. Five years before she died, when she was 86, she finally retired. As a parting gift before she left this world, she donated $150,000 to the University of Southern Mississippi to establish a scholarship for needy black students. She had saved her entire life for that.

Her gift inspired over 600 people to donate another $330,000, and when he heard about it, media mogul Ted Turner gave away one billion dollars to charity. He said, “If that little woman can give away everything she has, then I can give a billion.”

This is not a sales pitch. Rather, it is an example of how our attitude of sacrifice and celebration can create wonderful results in the world around us. It might not seem likely. Celebration and sacrifice may be an unlikely pair, but they are essential to the Eucharistic lives we live. Elias’ gift to us today is the faith and joy with which he approaches this Sacrament. It should remind us of how God calls each of us to a life of sacrifice and celebration.

This same God is the One who offers Himself to us – everything that He is.

How could He?

How can we not?

"Harmony"

The Priests are at it again. Following the tremendous success of their first album, three Irish priests are recording a sophomore effort - a Abbey Road studios, no less! Here's an advance listen to some of their forthcoming work. Due for release on 23rd November, ‘Harmony’ will include such tracks as the The Lord's Prayer and Amazing Grace and is sure to follow in the footsteps of their successful debut that received a place in the Guinness Book of World Records for being the ‘Fastest-selling UK debut for a classical act’.

My mother has told me that she will haunt me for the rest of my life if we have "Amazing Grace" at her funeral, but if this was the version, she might be able to rest a little more peacefully!

O'Brien Chimes In

In Baltimore there has been a debate in the city council over requiring crisis pregnancy centers who provide counseling and support to women in difficult pregnancies but not contraception or abortions to have signs posted to that effect. The proposed law would mandate that these centers advertise the fact of what they don't do, while not having any effect on centers that provide abortions. Proponents of the bill have said that these free clinics "lure" women away from other sites and force them to keep their children. The bill proposed fining these pro-life centers daily for not posting what they want them to post.

Archbishop Edwin O'Brien has now added his voice to the debate over this bill which will now be voted on by the city council. Here is his commentary in Thursday's Sun.

In my first homily as the new archbishop of Baltimore, I made a firm and abiding commitment: "To all of those in crisis pregnancies, I pledge our support and our financial help. Let us walk with you through your time of trouble and find a new life with your child, or let us help you place that child in a loving home. But please, I beg you: Let us help you affirm life. Abortion need not be an 'answer' in this archdiocese."

Sadly, we can't even agree that birth is a preferable option to abortion. But surely we can at least find common ground in the abortion debate by ensuring that a woman facing a crisis pregnancy should not be forced into an abortion simply because she believes she will have no support if she chooses to bring her baby to term. Filling this void - and giving women genuine choices - is the worthy purpose of our city's pregnancy resource centers.

These centers provide emotional and material support - childbirth and parenting classes, diapers and formula, clothes, furniture, adoption assistance and referrals for social service programs - all going to pregnant women to help them remove obstacles to childbirth.

And yet, Planned Parenthood and NARAL clearly believe that this charitable work is a mission worth hindering. They are willing to distract the Baltimore City Council from the urgent issues facing our community by promoting unwarranted legislation that would impose daily fines on pregnancy resource centers unless they post signs stating that they do not provide abortion or contraception.

We vigorously oppose this bill and all that it represents, especially the suggestion that not providing abortion and contraception should be considered a punishable activity.

This is the second time in as many years that proponents have attempted to pass legislation in Maryland designed to discredit pregnancy resource centers precisely because of their pro-life mission. Two years ago, they attempted to pass a bill in the state legislature that would have required pro-life pregnancy resource centers to inform clients that they "are not required to provide factually accurate information." That proposal failed. Now, Planned Parenthood and NARAL's Web sites claim the bill before the City Council is "landmark" legislation and that it would be the first of its kind in the country.

Baltimore City should not become the first jurisdiction to pass legislation designed to penalize those giving pregnant women a genuine alternative to abortion.

At a committee hearing on the bill last week, abortion proponents were unable to produce a single actual client who said she was misled by a Baltimore pregnancy resource center.

In fact, a complaint has never been filed against the Greater Baltimore Center for Pregnancy Concerns, the largest such center in Baltimore, in the 29 years it's been open. State and local agencies often refer women to these centers because of their stellar reputation.

The only real client to testify at the hearing, Ebony Harris, spoke up for our pregnancy centers. Several years ago, she was pregnant and without support and turned first to a local abortion clinic, where she was told it would be cheaper and easier to abort her unborn child.

Disturbed by that response, she found her way to the Center for Pregnancy Concerns, which gave Ms. Harris what she needed: emotional and material support so she wouldn't feel forced to choose abortion because of a lack of resources.

The result is a now 3-year-old boy, who accompanied his mother to the hearing last week. The courageous choice of this woman and the beautiful face of her young son speak to the hope that is so desperately needed in our city, a hope she found thanks to the good work of the center.

Directing Our Worship

Look at this photograph
Every time I do it makes me laugh
How did our eyes get so red?
And what the hell is on Joey's head?

And this is where I grew up
I think the present owner fixed it up
I never knew we'd ever went without
The second floor is hard for sneaking out

And this is where I went to school
Most of the time had better things to do
Criminal record says I've broke in twice
I must have done it half a dozen times

I wonder if it's too late
Should I go back and try to graduate?
Life's better now than it was back then
If I was them I wouldn't let me in

Those lyrics from Nickelback's popular song of a few years ago remind me, too, of growing up and the power that looking at those old photos can have for our memories. These are important - it's good to keep photos around, to remind us of loved ones and special times. Sometimes, I'll look at a picture of my grandfather and actually talk to it. But, I am not talking to "it"; I am talking to him. The picture just brings him to mind.

In the eighth century, there was a movement in the Church by some to remove sacred images from churches and homes. These folks believed that it was sinful to depict holy people - especially Christ and Mary - in common "drawings." They destroyed many icons in a movement known as "iconoclasm." Leaders of the Church met in the city of Nicaea in 787 to discuss the issue. They came to the conclusion that because God became man in Jesus Christ it was perfectly acceptable, as a result of the Incarnation, to depict Him in icons. Furthermore, these icons themselves were holy, not as "objects of worship" but insofar as looking at them brought to mind the reality that they depict. Therefore, one can look at an image of Jesus, Mary or the saints and in venerating it they call to mind those realities.

It is common to hear of Catholics and Orthodox Christians being called "idol worshipers." People point to the statues and pictures in and around our churches and see in it some sort of cult that takes away from true worship of God. Of course, this is not the case. Certainly, these images and statues depicting our holy ones are important, but only because they help us remember that we are not alone in our pilgrimage to heaven. They lead us deeper into devotion and worship of God, not farther from Him. The Church Fathers at Nicaea made a distinction that can be helpful. They called the attitude of devotion to icons and images "veneration" (the Greek is prokynesis). This can be directed to God, as well as to holy things and holy ones. It is veneration. However, the attitude toward God alone is what we can call "worship." He alone we worship, not statues, not pictures. God. This worship is rendered in Greek as latreia (it is found in the word idolatry).

So, the accusation of a Catholic or and Orthodox being an "idol worshiper" is a mistaken one. Ina world where almost every teenager's room is plastered with images of Edward Cullen or the Jonas Brothers or Beyonce or Megan Fox, this should not be too difficult to understand. Perhaps the next time we hear this we can use it as an opportunity to help ourselves (and our accusers) to focus on the true Object of our worship.

"30 Rock" Star and Spirituality

Thomas Merton one wrote this: "For God does not demand that every man attain to what is theoretically highest and best. It is better to be a good street sweeper than a bad writer, better to be a good bartender than a bad doctor, and the repentant thief who died with Jesus on Calvary was far more perfect than the holy ones who had Him nailed to the cross" (No Man is an Island). Sometimes, it is easy to dismiss those who don't seem to measure up to our standards of holiness or "spiritual-ness," but if we open our ears and minds to hear others, we might be surprised at what we find.

Over at America's blog, we can find this post about NBC star, Tracy Morgan, and his perspective on spirituality in a practical way. Here's a bit:

[T]he tears welling in Morgan's eyes were genuine as he sat before a packed crowd recently at the Barnes & Noble in Union Square and recalled his childhood with his grandmother in Brooklyn, his struggles with his mother and father, his grief over the best friend who was murdered and whose encouragement pushed him to pursue comedy. The event was held to promote Morgan's new book about his life, "I Am the New Black," written with Anthony Bozza. While I can't vouch for the book itself (or Morgan's stand-up act, for that matter) I can say that on this particular evening Morgan offered a surprisingly sincere and heartfelt discussion punctuated with clever humor and hints of his trademark absurdity.

A Legacy of Hope

Picking up from the Harry Potter thread from yesterday, I was directed to this film, reminding us that Holocaust Remembrance Day this coming year will mark the 65th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz. Daniel Radcliffe narrates (that's the connection). It's a long clip (10 min), but it is compelling, and this story still needs to be heard.

Each year, for many years now, around Yom haShoah in late April or early May, the Newman Center where I work has held days and weeks of remembrance to honor those who died in the Nazi holocaust. It was a passion of my predecessor, and we have continued it. Last year, we heard the story of a local man who survived the holocaust. His tale was astounding, and we were moved by his presence and his desire to share with us. This is something we cannot forget, because these horrors still go on.

Particularly striking is the one woman's assertion that "without hope we would have definitely perished." A reminder to us of God's gift of hope that transcends our human ability. Take the time to watch the video:

That New Feeling

I started rereading the Harry Potter books recently. You start to notice stuff that didn't seem important the first time, and it is really interesting.

This summer, I read a book called Harry, A History, by Melissa Anelli, webmistress of "The Leaky Cauldron" fansite. The book followed the development of the Harry Potter phenomenon and her own journey from reader to fan to fanatic. There is a point where she talks about the joy of being new to the whole Potter world. There was nothing to compare to that feeling - of being completely new to reading the books and discovering the halls of Hogwarts, meeting the centaurs and house ghosts and learning the spells. No matter if we reread the books, it will never, ever be new again. Here's her ending:

One young woman, not much younger than me, sat near the end of my eye line; she was reading too. ... I traveled to the next pole down to get a surreptitious closer look ; she wasn't reading Deathly Hallows at all. Her book wasn't orange but rose and water and sand, and featured a kid on a broom and a white unicorn. Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone. She didn't notice me staring at her.

Oh, I envy you, I thought, but I was smiling for her. She had just begun.

This is somewhat like reading - and rereading - the Bible. But there is a difference. Each time I read Scripture, there is something different, something new. Knowing how "the Story" ends gives a new sense to the rest of Scripture. Recently, I came up with advice to tell the young folks who ask me "how to read the Bible?" at college. The Holy Spirit, I think, had something to do with this "recipe."

I say start with a Gospel - usually, I say Luke - and then Acts. This introduces the reader to Jesus, and then the early Church. Then, I say go back and read the beginnings - Genesis, Exodus, Numbers (not so much Leviticus and Deuteronomy, but they are welcome as well). Next, try Romans, which is a lot like "Paul's Gospel." Then, go to Isaiah, and then back to the Gospels - maybe Mark, followed by Jeremiah.... There's not real "right" way to do it, but having a program often helps us stick with it.

So, young friends, don't be afraid of that Book. There are treasures there. Pick it up.

I envy you.

Blessed

Oh, to be blessed -
to know God's smile on me.
How I long for that feeling
of joy
and knowing
that He knows
that I am here.

But what does this One say?
How can I
fit these
into my life?

To be poor in spirit
means to let go
of my way
and my means,
and to open myself to trust.

To mourn
means that I have to
admit that there is loss
and death
and parting
in my life too.

To be meek
will mean that I cannot
be part of "that crowd"
and be relegated
to the fringe,
the margins.

To hunger and thirst for righteousness
will mean that I
must accept that
this order,
this "justice"
is not enough,
and demand more.

To be merciful
means that I must
admit injury -
to be vulnerable -
and then,
to forgive?

Being clean of heart
means I have to
clear away those things
I have been comfortable with -
which I have allowed to
define me -
and let my relationship with God
be my sole
focus.

Being a peacemaker
will mean finding conflict,
and being persecuted for the sake
of righteousness means
being ridiculed for it.

But this puts me with Him.
I am blessed besides.